I wish to relate an incident to you about the sincere tawbah of a sahaabi of Rasoolullah (saw). A story that touches the heart deeply and brings tears to the eyes. Hazrat Tha’labah ibn Abdur Rahmaan (ra) was a young man of sixteen from the ansaar. He would often run errands for Rasoolullah (saw). One day whilst walking in Madeenah, he passed by a house. The door was left open and without much thought he glanced inside… He didn’t anticipate what would then transpire. When he glanced into the home, a breeze lifted and shifted the curtain of an entrance, revealing a woman who was taking a bath. Hazrat Tha’laba immediately lowered his gaze, but his heart and mind were already tormented by guilt… He did not continue gazing. No. He immediately lowered his gaze. This was not what he expected to see. With an extreme feeling of shame, regret and ‘hypocrisy’ the young hazrat Tha’laba began to chastise himself. “How could I be of the companions of Rasoolullah (saw), be in his service and be so close to him, then I do something so shameful so as to disregard someone’s privacy?” Fear overwhelmed hazrat Tha’laba. The hisaab of the aakhira haunted him. He feared Allah would disclose what he did to Nabi (saw) and his ‘nifaaq’ would be known. Overcome by guilt he felt ashamed to present himself before Rasoolullah (saw)… So He ran away. In a condition of deep shame and remorse he left beloved madeenah munawwara. Days passed and observing Tha’laba’s absence nabi (saw)asked about him. No one had seen him. Concerned nabi (saw) sent a few sahaabah amongst them Umar (ra) and Salmaan Faarsi (ra). They went to the outskirts until they reached some mountains between Makka and Madeena. There they found some bedouins herding sheep. They asked them if they had seen Tha’laba (ra) describing his characteristics. They replied saying that there was a young man in the vicinity for 40 days, spending his time weeping and weeping. He would come down from the mountains just once a day, drink the milk they offered him and then return, distraught and grieved. They always found him crying and asking for forgiveness. The Sahaaba thus waited till Tha’labah came down. Observing him they found he had lost much weight. His face revealed deep sorrow and as he drank the milk, his tears mixed with it. They approached him and insisted on taking him to Rasoolullah (saw) who was concerned over his long absence. He refused and asked if any aayaat were revealed regarding his ‘nifaaq’. They said they had no knowledge of any such aayaat. Thus hazrat Tha’laba was taken back to Madeena. On their arrival Rasoolullah (saw) went to see him. Still anxious he asked if Allah had included him amongst the hypocrites. Nabi (saw) assured him that there was no such verses revealed. With great compassion and mercy and observing the weakness of Tha’laba, Rasoolullah (saw) made him lie down. He then placed hazrat Tha’laba’s head on his lap. Hazrat Tha’laba said “Oh Rasoolullah remove the head of this sinner from you” In response nabi (saw) comforted him until Tha’laba said, “Oh Rasoolullah (saw) I feel as though ants are crawling between my flesh and bones.” Nabi (saw) gently explained that it was death and that his time had come. Hazrat Tha’laba thus proclaimed the kalimah and his soul departed from his emaciated body. Innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon. Subhaanallah! What a great honour to pass away with his head resting in the lap of Rasoolullah (saw). Nabi (saw) gave ghusl to Tha’laba and carried him to his grave. On their way to bury him, Rasoolullah (saw) walked on his toes. On asked the reason he replied that there was such a large gathering of malaa’ikah that there was no place to put his feet on the ground.                             …that was the sin…that was the tawbah…that was the forgiveness in this world…that was the honour after death